And yes, I absolutely am aware that was a ridiculously long run-on sentence - a direct reflection of my life these days. After moving 2400 miles across the country from one coast to the next, unpacking belongings and making our new house a home, while working part-time, my life is one big run-on.
So after all that, I bumped into my brother-in-law Winston in the kitchen and asked, "After living with us now for a year, do you still want kids?" His answer... "I would never have them so close together. But I think I'm good with just one." And I said, "What were we thinking?"
There are MANY moments in my life that I think Bill and I were 100% crazy out of our minds STUPID for thinking we could take on 3 kids only 2 years apart, all the while wondering if we want to have another. (no plans! don't get excited, people) Sometimes I am SO exhausted and just need a real break from it all. The whining, yelling, working, cleaning... you get the picture.
But then this morning, I found myself sitting on the couch with a Lucas tucked under my arm, an Ash nestled in my lap, and a Holden seated to my left with his leg touching mine, and I listened to them talking and giggling while playing Little Big Planet. Instantly a wave of assurance rushed over me - I'm in the right place, exactly where I should be, with my little munchkins (evil minions) where they belong.
Sure the day to day battles wear me down and I'm not immune to motherly insecurities, but little moments make it all worthwhile. I wouldn't change anything about my life. I honestly enjoy every single moment of it. Even scraping banana off of the floor.
What, you don't believe me?
Anna this was sweet! Also, I miss you. <3
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYea, what *were* you thinking? I must've been thinking the same since mine are similarly spaced. Except for the baby. So when Ash is about to turn 5, go ahead and throw a surprise baby in there. I'm telling you, it just adds to the *fun*! ;-)
ReplyDeleteLove you
ReplyDeleteOh, Anna, that was beautifully written! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnna, so sweet!! I feel ya girl, ours are just about that close, but bigger. Micale is NINE. Ugh. :D
ReplyDeleteit's Jnet. OMG you made me realize having a boy will be awesome. I was a little scared bc I thought what will mommy/son like to do together? Then I remembered, I love video games, star wars, legos and other toys too! Ahh it sounds so exciting! minus the banana on the floor part. I'm Ecuadorian, bananas are sacred!
ReplyDeleteI WANT BABIES! I want myself a little baby Ash. He's so flippin cute. They all are. But I think my favorite thing has to be the Chandler Bing smile. Makes me giggle everytime!
ReplyDeleteIt helps me to look toward the goal of mothering. I truly believe that I will look back fondly on these years with my little ones, and enjoy them as adults and when they have their own children. I read an article recently that said 75% of childless couples end up regretting that they never had kids. That would break me.
ReplyDeletethis made me cry, such a loving mom! brings back memories enjoy every crazy second!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs, ELaine
Anna....I think you are an amazing mom with those 3 little guys. Someday they will realize what fun they had growing up and what awesome parents they have!! I think you should have another baby! I just say that because I always wanted one more, but of course we stopped at 3 (even though Curt only wanted 1 child). :) Jen
ReplyDeleteBeautiful thoughts, Anna! And yes, the little day-to-day stuff might feel like a huge battle but man, those sweet moments totally make up for it all.
ReplyDelete