Friday, July 16, 2010

Just wait until the honeymoon is over

Bill and I have been married now for almost 11 years, and dated 3 1/2 years before we got hitched.

August 21, 1999 - we both had just turned 22 and there were a lot of people who thought we were too young. Maybe we were, but one thing was for sure - we loved each other and knew without a doubt that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Bill had joined the army and was going to be traveling the world, and neither of us wanted him to be doing it alone. We didn't have a lot of money to spend on fancy rings. Bill paid $35 for an opal ring at a pawn shop, and we had picked out 50 matching wedding bands from James Avery the first year we were dating. There's a Hebrew inscription that reads "Whither thou goest, I will follow", and the sentiment has always rang true for us as we've moved from Oklahoma to Washington DC to Germany to California to Arizona to Florida and now back to California. Always together.

When we first got married, people used to say things to us like, "Just wait until the honeymoon is over." or "Wait until you've been married 5 years...7 years... 10 years...." - possibly assuming after years together we'd realize how hard it is and expect failure? I don't know what their intentions were but it always infuriated me. At what point will it stop? After we've been married 50 years, will there be someone there to say, "Wait until you've been married 55 years!"

I always look to Bill's grandparents who have been married for over 60 years as a gauge for a successful marriage. The #1 thing I notice when I'm around them is that they genuinely enjoy each other's company.


We are by no means experts on marriage. And our marriage like all has not been perfect. But after 14 years together, believe it or not, I still like hanging out with Bill. That could all change 50 years from now but I don't think so. If we make it 60 years, I'll request an epitaph that reads "Here lies Bill and Anna. They never got sick of each other. So there."

7 comments:

  1. I love this!!!!!!!! Your very lucky, the both of you!
    I think your an amazing couple and awesome parents, I wish I could know you both more personally that through first Xanga then Facebook, but I still consider you friends! Don't let what anyone else says bother you, I have always enjoyed Mikes company unfortunately my company wasn't enough for him, :sigh: but I come from a family where there was No divorce and even my brother has a wonderful marriage of 10 years now in September and he tells me all the time how much more he loves his wife each day! It makes me sad that I used to want the kind of marriage my aunts and uncles had (my parents fought constantly but stuck together) I guess it just ins't in the card for me but It makes me happy for those who have found that one special someone that loves them unconditionally, I have my kids and my pets and well although they are not my partner for life, I love them more than myself. So ANNA AND BILL, you prove everyone wrong never give up on each other and I wish you the best life has to offer!!!!!!

    ELaine :o)

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  2. It is awesome to find true Love! You two are very blessed!

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  3. I love you! and I love Bill and I love you together and the family you've made! And I'm glad you told everyone to shove it and prove them wrong because i think you are a great representation of a wonderful marriage!
    -Love Kimberly

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  4. I have had people say that to me, I was told things would change and the "honeymoon" would be over when we move in and things have only gotten better. I have also been told to "just wait until you two or married"... I don't like being told that. What am I supposed to wait for? Just because someone else feels differently about their spouse doesnt mean everyone will :)

    And just so you know, I use you and Bill as a gauge for a successful marriage and family.

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  5. You two are a wonderful couple! Some people do have that "after the honeymoon" shock, but you never did. Steve and I didn't either....we got the "after kids/ extreme sleep exhaustion from a cranky, needy baby" shock. Now that we get more sleep, we've found out that we actually can be normal people again. :)
    I think you and Bill will definitely be married for 60 years!!!

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  6. SITTI (SUSAN RICE)July 25, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    YOU'LL NOTICE THAT I NEVER SAID A WORD ABOUT YOUR AGE. WHEN I WAS RAISING YOUR HUSBAND I TOLD HIM THAT HE SHOULD GET MARRIED WHEN HE FINDS THE RIGHT PERSON. IF I COULD HAVE LIVED MY LIFE THIS WAY, I BELIEVE THAT I AND THOSE WHOSE PATHS I'VE CROSSED WOULD BE MUCH HAPPIER. BY THE WAY, GRANNY AND GRANDPA KNEW EACH OTHER 3 MONTHS BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED. LOTS OF PEOPLE HAD OPINIONS, BUT THEY ASKED AND TOOK NONE OF THEM.

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  7. Those are such ridiculous statements for people to make based on absolutely NOTHING! Man, I hate negativity like that! Good for you and Bill. So there!

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